Conversations about Prayer

When Ali asked me to draft an article about prayer, if I am totally honest, I panicked. I thought to myself, “what have I got to say about prayer? I struggle most of the time, and what is more people will be shocked when they find out that I lead a House of Prayer in the Northwest of England!” Well, there you are, the truth is out of the bag! However, if we are honest, I think most of us would say that we struggle, at least sometimes, with prayer. In fact, I do not think I have ever met anyone who has shouted from the roof tops about the constant joys of their prayer life.

The reality is, we are all on a journey with prayer and that is because we are all on a journey of faith. Prayer is ultimately about a relationship. It is the tool that God has given us to help us in our relationship with Him, and at times it can feel like the easiest and most joyful thing, and then at other points it is the hardest and least interesting thing! But surely that can be said of all relationships?

At times, my relationship with my wife, Susie, can feel like the easiest and most wonderful of things. We are connecting deeply, we understand one another, we mutually serve each other, and all is flowing great. And then at other times, often during the stresses of life, we argue, we misunderstand each other, everything feels like hard work and the idea of spending any time together is not very appealing! Yet in those times of struggle in our relationships, the answer is never to stop and abandon the relationship altogether. Granted, you might need to give one another a bit of space once in a while, but you always must work at relationships; seek first to understand before you are understood, and offer grace to one another to enable the relationship to flourish. So, if that is the case with relationships, then it is probably the case with prayer too.

What helps when it comes to prayer, then? I was a little bit hasty when I started drafting this article, because to be honest I have gone on a bit of a journey with prayer over the past few years. Though it is true that I do genuinely struggle with prayer, it is also true that I have come to experience some deep times of growth in my prayer life and learnt some things along the way that have helped me in my journey of faith.

The first thing I want to say is, ‘just start’.

If you are sat reading this and thinking, ‘do you know what, my prayer life is pretty much non-existent’, then I want to say to you, ‘just start.’ These two words helped me enormously many years ago when I had no rhythm of prayer and was feeling distant in my faith. You see, it does not matter how you pray or what you pray. God is far more interested in being with you through prayer than what it looks like, but for that to happen you must ‘start’. For me this meant making prayer more of a priority and starting to talk honestly to God about what was going on in my life. Sharing with Him as I would with a close friend. If any of this is ringing true for you, then can I encourage you to, ‘just start.’ Put aside 5 minutes to start today. God will meet with you in the way that is best as you simply open yourself to him through simple prayer and conversation.

The second thing I want to say is, ‘pray as you can and not as you can’t’.

I am afraid I cannot claim any credit for this phrase. A few years ago, I had the privilege of taking a two-year Personal Spiritual Development programme with St Bede’s Pastoral Centre in York, and one of the Nun’s leading the project would repeatedly say this phrase. You see, God made us all different and did not intend for us to all to pray in the same way. For active people, your mind might focus more when you are doing something. If that is you, then maybe you need to do something as you pray. Sometimes I like to pace the room and pray aloud – as an active person the movement can really help me to engage more deeply in prayer. Now, that is not saying that I would not benefit from times of quiet and stillness - I really would(!) and have been starting to grow in this practice more of late. However, the point is, “pray as you can and not as you can’t.” If you can’t sit still for ages in prayer, then don’t. Maybe you need to be moving, or the times of quiet and stillness needs to be small to begin with. Or maybe you find prayer easier when you write, journal, draw, walk, play music, carve, knit. If you want to build a more regular rhythm of prayer, then start by praying as you can and not as you can’t.

Finally, ‘throw off the guilt and shame’. There is a beautiful verse in Hebrews that says this, 

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. (Hebrews 12: 1-2)

I often think that for many Christians, when we think about prayer, the immediate thought or feeling that comes to mind is one of guilt and shame. Feelings like, ‘I’m not good enough’, ‘I don’t pray enough’, or ‘I’m not a very good Christian’. Starting from this position seriously hinders your walk and relationship with God. Like any good Father, God loves to be with you and isn’t sat above you judging you for your prayer life. He loves you and just wants to enjoy spending time with you. So, throw off the guilt and shame that you put on yourself and enter prayer in the knowledge that you are loved and that your Creator loves being with you.

Summary.

I hope this article has been an encouragement and may be a bit of a challenge to you too. When you think about prayer, make sure you start from a place of recognising that you are loved and cherished by God, and as your Father, He just longs to bless you with His presence. If you’re struggling with any sort of rhythm or feeling distant in your faith, don’t worry, ‘just start’. Why not give 3 or 5 mins today to talk to God. And remember, ‘pray as you can and not as you can’t’. Ask yourself, ‘how would I enjoy praying’?

And lastly, throw off the stuff that easily entangles – the guilt, the shame, the unhelpful comparisons and feelings that you’re not good enough. God does not want any of that to hold you back, and those thoughts certainly don’t come from Him. He’s interested in you, welcomes you, and wants to bless you with His presence. Prayer is a journey and I pray that you may know more freedom and life in your prayer this coming year.
 

About Turret House 

Dan Finn helps to lead Turret House of Prayer in Clitheroe, Lancashire. Working in partnership with local churches and 24/7 Prayer, the team at Turret House exist to help grow prayer, justice, and mission across the region and beyond. For more info about Turret House see the Facebook page: www.facebook.com/turrethouseofprayeror to contact Dan : dan.finn@lancasterfoundation.co.uk